I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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