it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
