Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
