it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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