He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
