she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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