That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
