He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
