thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
