I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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