have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
