Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
