it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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