I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
