Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
