i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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