fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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