I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
