i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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