hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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