I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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