Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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