I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Randomize
