OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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