Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
