Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
