Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
