How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
