There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
