Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize