she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
