haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
