this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
