I didn't shave. On purpose
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
he just fucked me for my cheese.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
