69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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