He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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