but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
did you just send me my own nude
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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