My pussy is not your playground.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
