oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
