xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
