Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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