Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I have aggressive nipples.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
