Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
