im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
