I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
