Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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