I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
