I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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