no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
smell my finger.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
