Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
