I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
