the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
