from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
