he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Holy shit dude........stairs
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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