Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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