How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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