i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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