I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
