did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
