She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
