They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
