I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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