You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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