Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
