i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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