im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
