you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
