i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Randomize
