this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Randomize