Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You took a bar mat shot.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Randomize
